"Trump Claims World Series Fans Want To Lock Him Up In White House For Doing Excellent Job"
The Borowitz Report
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that he was “incredibly moved by their support,” Donald J. Trump said on Monday that fans at Game 5 of the World Series expressed their strong desire to see him locked up in the White House for doing such an excellent job as President.
“Out of nowhere, they just started chanting,” Trump told reporters at the White House. “They really want to see me locked up for another four years.”
Trump said that he was surprised by the passionate and urgent nature of the chanting directed toward him. “Despite all the things that the fake media has said about me, these people know what an amazing job I’ve done,” he said. “They really want to lock me up and never let me go.”
Noting that the Constitution allows a President to serve only two terms, Trump said, “That’s a real shame, because the way those people were chanting, I think they’d like to see me locked up for the rest of my life.”
He added that he hoped his archnemesis, former President Barack Obama, was watching the World Series on television to witness “the unbelievable support I got from that crowd.”
“Obama was President for eight years, and he never heard anyone chant ‘lock him up,’ ” Trump said. “What a loser.”
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