"If All Cultures Are Equally Valid, Then English And French Cooking Are Equally Good"

Fred Owens

18 hrs · 

We 're having an essay contest today. Write an essay on the following sentence.

"All cultures are equally valid, therefore English cooking is as good as French cooking."

Your response will be judged by a panel of experts, including Mr. Hoo Hah, Miss La de Dah and Yours Truly.

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  Alan Archibald "All cultures are equally valid, therefore English cooking is as good as French cooking."
  
  I begin by questioning your premise that "all cultures are equally valid."
  
  Here in the United States of Barbaria, about 40% of citizens crave the Shit Sandwich as their daily bread.
  
  With the arguable exceptions of baloney and hot dogs, no other All-American dish rivals the SS for popularity. 
  
  Notably, the originator of the SS -- in an attempt to imbue the dish with the pretensions of haute cuisine -- recently changed its name to the Schutzstaffel. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schutzstaffel
  
  Concerning your proposed contest between English and French cuisine, there are two competing - and probably irresolvable - views.
  
  The Romans held - and it is probably the Latin saying I utter most often -- "De gustibus non disputandum est."
  
  Also from antiquity, we witness Socrates' belief in absolute standards - most particularly standards pertaining to morality. (Speaking of standards, should I say "Socrateses'?")
  
  Socrates' view was in opposition to his contemporary Sophists, the foremost of whom, Protagoras, posited the rubric, "Man is the measure of all things."
  
  Although my Catholic formation makes "absolute standards" desirable, in the end -- at least within the sensorial field I now inhabit -- I must agree with Protagoras (and subsequently the Romans) if only because a "man" -- when an infant -- can only appreciate mother's milk and sugar water, the mere prospect of solid food being absurd.
  
  And so, as much as I esteem French cuisine, on any given day -- and according to prevailing circumtances -- I might prefer fish and chips or eggs and bangers.
  
  We must also contend with that manifestation of Love Supreme -- the loquat -- my candidate for an Absolute Standard of gustatory goodness.

  
  

  

  EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

  Schutzstaffel - Wikipedia