WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, took advantage of Donald Trump’s storming out of an Oval Office meeting on Wednesday to hide the nuclear codes, Pelosi has confirmed.
Moments after Trump threw a tantrum and abruptly left his own office, the quick-thinking Pelosi turned to Senator Charles Schumer, who was also present for the meeting, and said, “Chuck, we’ve got to find those nuclear codes and hide them.”
Pelosi and Schumer ransacked the Oval Office for the codes until Pelosi finally located them in a desk drawer under a pile of empty Quarter Pounder containers from McDonald’s.
Speaking to reporters on Thursday, the House Speaker refused to divulge her hiding place for the codes, but addressed widespread speculation that she had hidden them in a book.
“Believe me, that was my first thought,” she said. “But I checked the whole office, and there were no books.”
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