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Monday, January 7, 2019

Reprise: "Trump Suddenly Expresses Deep Concern About Conditions In Nation’s Prisons"

Montage satire video of Trump administration members being arrested
"Trump Suddenly Expresses Deep Concern About Conditions In Nation’s Prisons"

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was “very, very concerned” about conditions in the nation’s prisons.

“These are very, very bad places,” Trump told reporters. “These are not places you would want to be.”

Trump criticized the “total lack of amenities” in the country’s federal penitentiaries, calling those prisons “a disgrace.”

“If you are locked up in one of those places, there is no TV in your cell,” he said. “And good luck getting a Diet Coke. You can yell and yell and no one will go get you one. It’s a very sad, very sick situation.”

In addition to blasting the conditions inside the nation’s prisons, Trump also questioned whether “putting someone in jail for one or two felonies serves any purpose.”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately,” he said. “Prison solves nothing.”

If You Had To Pay $25 Million Like Malfeasant Trump Just Did, You'd Be In Prison For Decades




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