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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Borowitz Report: Trump Vows To Get Endorsement For Jeff Sessions From Frederick Douglass

Trump Vows To Get Endorsement For Jeff Sessions From Frederick Douglass

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Infuriated after Senator Elizabeth Warren read a scathing letter from 1986 about Jeff Sessions by Coretta Scott King, Donald Trump vowed on Wednesday to secure an endorsement for Sessions from Frederick Douglass.

“I know Frederick Douglass will write a great letter, much better than that bad letter Coretta Scott King wrote,” Trump said. “I said really nice things about Frederick Douglass last week, so I’m sure he will do this for me.”

Visibly angered by the King letter, Trump contrasted the “great job Douglass has done” with the “terrible, very bad job that Coretta Scott King has done.”

“I don’t know who this Coretta King person is, but she should stay away from writing letters because she has zero talent for it,” Trump said.

At the daily White House press briefing, Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, said that, while Trump is confident that Sessions will be confirmed as Attorney General, “a strong endorsement from Frederick Douglass will clearly seal the deal.”

After the press corps reacted with blank stares, Spicer snapped, “Do you people even know who Frederick Douglass is?”

Warren, who ignited the controversy by reading King’s letter on the Senate floor, was rebuked by Republican senators for exploiting a little-known provision of the Constitution called the First Amendment.


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