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Friday, November 7, 2014

The Borowitz Report: Obama Orders Two-Year Supply Of Crossword Puzzles


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that he wanted the remainder of his second term to be as active as possible, President Obama announced on Friday that he had ordered a two-year supply of crossword puzzles.
In signing an executive order for the puzzles, which range in difficulty from medium to advanced, the President laid out an ambitious plan to complete as many as thirty of them a day, for a total of ten thousand by the time he leaves the White House, in January, 2017.

The President said that he hoped that Republicans in Congress would support his plan for the puzzles, but added, “I don’t need their support. All I need is a pen.”
Obama’s executive order for the puzzles comes on the heels of another ambitious plan, announced by the President on Thursday, to watch all five seasons of “The Wire.”

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