There is no need to slay your mental monsters.
Deprive them of your "tape-loop" support and they die on their own.
Alan: This sort of list is notoriously slippery.
Irony and paradox are so fundamental to the human condition that simple summaries must give pause.
That said, this list -- despite its power-of-positive-thinking and "Norman Rockwell, New Age Buddhism" -- is a pretty good list.
15 Damaging Myths About Life We Should All Stop Believing
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1. There is a single definition of success.
And it involves an established career, large house, acceptable body shape, marriage and annual holidays.
Everyone has their own path to walk in this life, and what brings true meaning and deep fulfillment differs for all of us.
Let go of your need to fit to the status quo. Live, work, date, play, create, travel, eat, drink, move, laugh and sing in ways that feel right with your soul. That is true success.
2. Life is meant to be hard work.
Life is meant to be easy, beautiful and overflowing with moments of joy and bliss.
The more you listen to your soul and build a life that's true to you, the more your actions will feel completely natural and effortless.
If life is a constant struggle, you're running on empty and you dread Mondays, it's time to take an honest look at your life -- in a loving way.
3. Life happens to us.
Where you are now is a result of the choices you made in the past. Where you will be in the future is a result of the choices you are making right now.
You are an active participant in the creation of your life. So embrace your power as a creator, and start choosing thoughts, words and actions that make a positive impact and will come back to you in a million magnificent, beautiful, jaw-dropping ways.
4. There is such a thing as normal, and we should measure ourselves against it.
There is no such thing as a normal human, but there is such a thing as a "normal" you -- where you're completely yourself, you love yourself deeply and you think and act in ways that feel aligned with your soul.
Let your internal compass be your only point of reference.
5. There is an "us" and a "them."
We draw a line around our social and family circles, keeping out everyone who doesn't fit neatly within our definition of normal, interesting or worthwhile.
While everyone has vastly different aptitudes, passions and quirks, everyone also has the same light within them. The light within you is the same light within me, within the stranger on the bus, and within anyone you consider your enemy.
6. We have to compete for limited resources.
Life is meant to be abundant and limitless. We create scarcity by believing in it, instead of focusing our efforts on creating, giving and contributing our gift to help humankind reach its highest potential.
Relax and feel it deep within your heart that you will always be provided for.
Alan: The 6th Chapter of Mark, verses 19-36, is one of the gospel's most challenging passages, advising us to "take no thought for tomorrow," but rather "to seek the Kingdom of God and his Justice" so that "all these things will be added unto us."
In my experience, the relationship between" seeking the Kingdom of God's Justice" and subsequently "receiving" all necessary gifts is a dependable mechanism for evoking Miracle.
The precise pathway by which this miraculousness manifests is inexplicable... but "there" it is.
The proof is in the pudding.
The precise pathway by which this miraculousness manifests is inexplicable... but "there" it is.
The proof is in the pudding.
"What Should We Be Worried About?" (By Big Thinkers)
7. Happiness comes from external things.
We pin our happiness on external things like our appearance, bank balance, job title, travel plans, possessions and the opinions of others -- and then suffer as a result.
True, sustainable happiness comes from within -- by cultivating a mindset based on gratitude, mindfulness and acceptance.
8. Holding grudges is a natural part of life.
When we feel that someone has "wronged" us, we cling to the memory and carry it around with us for weeks or sometimes years. What we fail to realize is that we are holding ourselves hostage, not just the perceived wrong-doer.
The Buddha once said, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
Make forgiveness your new motto and see how much freer and lighter your soul feels.
9. There is something wrong with us.
We are plagued by feelings of inadequateness and worthlessness, postponing self-acceptance and self-love until a day in the future when we're thinner, wealthier, more confident and more popular.
You are perfect and complete exactly as you are.
Alan: If the author is addressing a person's existential essence, the previous statement might be true. Personally, I believe in the mythic reality of "original sin" and so assume that "outside The Gates of Eden" there are many things we humans are called upon to correct, if only by meditatively "unwinding" them.
Even when you are striving to improve and grow, you are complete. As the Buddhist saying goes, "We are all perfect as we are, and we could all use a little work."
10. It matters what other people think of us.
We give away so much of our energy, power and inner peace by worrying about what others think of us.
The truth is we can't ever know for certain what other people are thinking about us. So when your ego starts to fill you with doubt and fear, remember it's a fictional story.
11. We see things how they really are.
How we experience the world is heavily influenced by our beliefs and past experiences.
Our subconscious mind chooses pieces of information to serve to our conscious mind based on what we've programmed it to look for. Identify your dominant beliefs and replace the ones that aren't serving you.
12. Meditation is something people do on a cushion at sunrise.
You can meditate and be mindful all throughout the day as you go about your life.
Pause and feel the weight of your body in your seat, the feeling of the fabric against your skin, and the slight sensation of the air on your face.
Take a few deep breaths and let your whole being relax. Scan your body up and down for sensations, simply observing, without making any judgments.
13. When we give something, we lose something.
Giving and receiving are one in truth. When you give to someone with no strings attached -- whether it be a physical gift, a compliment or your time -- you are nourished as well as the receiver.
Not only do you experience sensations of satisfaction and joy, but your karma will bring more blessings and gifts back into your life.
14. We have to logically figure everything out.
We've been taught to trust our minds but not our intuition or inner voice of guidance.
When you're grappling with a problem or lacking clarity, learn to lean into your soul and trust the wisdom it provides to you -- often in the form of a gut feeling, serendipitous sign or a spontaneous "aha!" moment.
15. We need to be more realistic.
Many people think that daily happiness and joy is an unrealistic goal, and we should be more realistic.
Happiness is THE ultimate goal of our lives, and it is both worthwhile and attainable.
Alan: It is good to remember that happiness is an intrinsic part of the human condition and that compulsive pessimism/negativity are psycho-spiritual errors. Even so, sadness and grief come with "the package." Rather than establishing "happiness" itself as the goal, I think it better advised to "enter the flow" and let happiness be epiphenomenal rather than the target of our pursuit. When we focus directly on happiness, we tend to overlook the centrality of "doing good" and "being of service" as the very Ground in which happiness grows.
It's About Flow: A Dozen Basic Guidlines For Educators
Understand your purpose is to blossom into the highest, happiest version of you and let go of any guilt you feel for making your happiness a priority.
Elyse is the founder of NotesOnBliss.com, your guidebook to happiness and creating a beautiful life, and the creator of the Beautiful Life Bootcamp 6-week eCourse. For free tips and inspiration, sign up now.
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