Borowitz: Nation Stunned To Learn Congress Accomplished Something 50 Years Ago

Lyndon Johnson signing The Civil Rights Act, 1964

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — Millions of Americans were in a state of shock this past week after learning that Congress had accomplished something fifty years ago.

Although the incident was widely reported throughout the week, the revelation that Congress had achieved something positive and substantial for the country a half century ago left many incredulous and baffled.

Adding to their disbelief were reports that the accomplishment came as the result of collaboration between a Democrat in the White House and Republicans in Congress.

Making the scenario even more far-fetched, politicians of both parties came to an agreement without the interference of corporate paymasters operating them like puppets.

Tracy Klugian, thirty-four, was one of many Americans who found “the whole thing hard to swallow.”

“I searched for it on Google, and it’s true: Congress did actually get something done for the good of the country and all,” he said. “Still, when I first heard about it, it sounded like a hoax.”