WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hinting darkly that "there's something going on," Donald J. Trump complained on Friday that he has been treated "very unfairly" by the people who wrote the United States Constitution.
"If the Constitution prevented me from doing one or two things, I'd chalk that up to bad luck," he said. "But when literally everything I want to do is magically a violation of the Constitution, that's very unfair and bad treatment."
Lashing out at the document's authors, Trump said that "America is a great country, but we have maybe the worst constitution writers in the world."
"Russia has much better constitution writers than we do," he said. "I talked to Putin, and he said their constitution never gives him problems."
"The situation is very unfair!" he added.
In an ominous warning, Trump said that, as of Friday, he was putting the writers of the U.S. Constitution "on notice."
"I don't have their names yet, but that's something I'm looking into," he said. "These jokers are not going to get away with this."
What fundamentalism looks like at the political level.
Best Pax Posts On Torture
Christianity's Bedrock Commitment To Torture: Remaking "The Faithful" In God's Image
Religion and Perfectionism
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2013/11/religion- and-perfectionism.html
"Good Romans" Considered Jesus' Torture Necessary For Imperial Safety
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2014/12/when- jesus-was-tortured-good- romans.html
Religion and Perfectionism
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2013/11/religion- and-perfectionism.html
"Good Romans" Considered Jesus' Torture Necessary For Imperial Safety
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2014/12/when- jesus-was-tortured-good- romans.html
"Good Romans" Considered Jesus' Torture Necessary For Imperial Safety
http://paxonbothhouses.
Americans, Especially Catholics, Approve Of Inquisitorial Torture
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2014/04/ americans-especially- catholics-approve.html
"The Catholic Voice In The Torture Debate," John A. Coleman S.J.
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2013/12/the- catholic-voice-in-torture- debate-by.html
On Balance, Torture Is Massively Counter-Productive And Self-Destructive
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George Will: "The Torture Of Solitary Confinement"
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2013/02/george- will-talks-good-sense-on- torture.html
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http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2014/12/dubyahs- torture-team-legal-counselor. html
CIA Torture Report: Best Pax Posts
The CIA Torture Manual Was Written By A Pair Of Charlatans
"The Catholic Voice In The Torture Debate," John A. Coleman S.J.
Bush's Torture Team: Legal Counselor John Yoo Justifies Crushing Children's Testicles
http://paxonbothhouses.
CIA Torture Report: Best Pax Posts
The CIA Torture Manual Was Written By A Pair Of Charlatans
"The Catholic Voice In The Torture Debate," John A. Coleman S.J.
Dick Cheney On Torturing Prisoners: "I'd Do It Again In A Minute"
Dick Cheney On Torturing Prisoners: "I'd Do It Again In A Minute"
On Balance, Torture Is Massively Counter-Productive And Self-Destructive
Dick Cheney On Torturing Prisoners: "I'd Do It Again In A Minute"
"My Client, A Torture Victim"
Even If Torture Doesn't Work In The Real World, TV Convinces Us It Does
The Ethics Of Torture Explored In E.M.Coetzee's Painful Novel
Black Hawk Down Author: "Torture Has Yielded Few Intelligence Gains"
http://paxonbothhouses. blogspot.com/2014/12/black- hawk-down-author-torture-has. html
Better Than Torture
Torture Doesn't Work. Here's What Does
"CIA Torture Report A Travesty," Charles Krauthammer
Better Than Torture
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