Trump Calls His Al Qaeda Recruitment Video Highest-Rated Terror Video Ever

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Just minutes after the Somali-based Al Qaeda affiliate Shabaab group released a propaganda video featuring a clip of Donald Trump, the Republican Presidential front-runner boasted that the video would be the highest-rated terror video of all time.

Within an hour of the video’s appearance, Trump took to Twitter to crow about his role in the jihadist promo, and tweaked his G.O.P. rivals for failing to be chosen by Shabaab.

“Shabaab would never put Jeb in video,” Trump tweeted. “Knows he is loser!”

But even as the billionaire boasted about his inclusion in the terror video, the prospect for future collaborations between Trump and Shabaab seemed to dim, due to a series of escalating demands issued by the real-estate magnate.

In a cascade of tweets directed at the terror group, Trump insisted that he be paid two million dollars for every subsequent video and that he retain editorial control over the final cut.

In a terse official statement, a Shabaab spokesman said that the terror group was “discontinuing our relationship with Donald J. Trump.”

“He’s just too hard to work with,” the spokesman said.