It worked for Hamilton and Burr!
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In a joint news conference on the Capitol steps, Republican luminaries, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan praised the manifest advantages of "election by dueling."
"Carnage is the American way," cackled McConnell, using his trademark whine to full advantage. "We're good at it. It's time we chose our leaders by the sacred principles embedded in The 2nd Amendment."
House Speaker John Boehner mumbled something about the inefficiency-and-waste of so much money sloshing around politics. "Look," he stammered, tugging directly from a label-less bottle, "The O.K. Corral exists for a reason."
House Speaker John Boehner mumbled something about the inefficiency-and-waste of so much money sloshing around politics. "Look," he stammered, tugging directly from a label-less bottle, "The O.K. Corral exists for a reason."
Eric Cantor pointed to "the disorderly disturbance of political chest-thumping," urging the nation to "just find out who's got the biggest balls."
Ted Cruz -- joined by his Reverend father -- issued a joint statement: "The western world ran afoul of God's inviolable will when it outlawed Trial by Ordeal. What made mere mortals think they could claim The Blind Balance Of Justice as its own? We have lost faith in the unfailing providence of our vengeful God and owe it to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, to un-encumber The Almighty so that He - and He Alone! - will wave his Smiting Hand to reveal The Righteous."
Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan concluded the press conference by revealing their joint decision to carry concealed weapons. The junior senator from Florida stroked the shaft of his new Glock while Representative Ryan pointed to the bulge in his pants, saying:
"You got it ladies! That's a rocket in my pocket."
"You got it ladies! That's a rocket in my pocket."
***
Burr-Hamilton Duel
Wikipedia
Burr-Hamilton Duel
PBS
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/duel/peopleevents/pande17.html
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America at its best!
At home in public squalor...
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America at its best!
At home in public squalor...
How Campaign Finance Works In Countries That Admit The Truthfulness Of Lord Acton's Dictum:
"Power Tends To Corrupt And Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely"
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