Borowitz Report: "Trump Says Mueller Just Called to Say He’s the Most Innocent Person Ever"

"Believe me."

Trump Says Mueller Just Called Him and Said He’s the Most Innocent Person Ever

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The special counsel, Robert Mueller, just called Donald Trump to tell the President that he was “the most innocent person ever,” Trump told reporters on Thursday.

“It was the middle of the afternoon, and he just picked up the phone to say how innocent I was,” Trump said. “He said I was the most innocent person he’d ever come across, and maybe in history.”

“He said he had been over all of the evidence and that he and his staff would spend hours just looking at each other in amazement at about how unbelievably innocent I was,” he said.

Trump said that he asked Mueller why, in his opinion, the media had reported so many stories about his campaign colluding with Russians. “Bob said to me, ‘Are you talking about the failing New York Times and CNN?’ ” Trump reported. “ ‘They have been very unfair to you. 

They are bad (or sick) people. Sad!’ That’s what Bob said to me.”

The conversation wound down with a series of “pleasantries,” Trump said, with Mueller complimenting him on the size of his 2016 victory, including his enormous win in New Hampshire.

Compendium Of Pax Posts Concerning Trump's Habitual Lying

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/02/compendium-of-pax-posts-concerning.html

Ted Cruz Gives Detailed Explanation Of Trump's Pathological Obsession With Continuous Lying

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2016/08/ted-cruz-gives-detailed-explanation-of.html

60 Minutes: "Fake News"

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/60-minutes-fake-news.html

Fred Owens' Facebook Page, "Fake News" And The Credibility Of The Mainstream Press

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/02/fred-owens-facebook-page-fake-news-and.html

Fake News Central

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-source-of-most-fake-news.html

Compendium Of Pax Posts Re: Trump's Non-Stop Ability To Tell One Lie After Another

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/01/compendium-of-pax-posts-re-trumps-non.html

Compendium Of Pax Posts On Post-Inaugural Blur Of White House Lies And "Alternative Facts"

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/01/compendium-of-pax-posts-on-flurry-of.html

The Borowitz Report: "Trump Blasts Media For Reporting What He Says"

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-borowitz-report-trump-blasts-media.html

28 Enormities That Prevent Conscionable People From Hoping Trump Is A Successful President

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/01/28-enormities-that-prevent-conscionable.html

Donald's Doozies: A Yuge (And Yugely Incomplete) Compendium Of Trump's "Pants On Fire" Lies

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/donalds-doozies-yuge-and-yugely.html

Compendium Of Pax Posts About Donald Trump

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2016/01/donald-trump-paranoid-style-in-american.html

Donald Trump, Felon: Re-Visiting Trump University

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/05/compendium-of-pax-posts-about-trump.html

Millions Of Deplorables Voted For Trump Because He Was The Only Candidate Who Was As Crazy As They Are

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/01/millions-of-deplorables-voted-for-trump.html

We Redacted Everything That's Not A Verifiably True Statement From Trump's Time Magazine Interview About Truth

http://theslot.jezebel.com/we-redacted-everything-thats-not-a-verifiably-true-stat-1793571837

Fact-Checking Trump's TIME Interview On Truths And Falsehoods

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2017/mar/23/fact-checking-trumps-time-interview-truths-and-fal/

Donald Trump: A Man So Obnoxious That Karma May See Him Reincarnated As Himself

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/donald-trump-man-so-obnoxious-that.html

Shit-Slinger Trump Says Obama Wiretapped Trump Tower During Campaign. Obama Is "Bad, Sick"

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/shit-slinger-trump-says-obama.html

The Best Photographic Evidence Of Trump Inaugural Crowd Size: From Stage & From Monument

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/01/the-best-photographic-evidence-of-trump.html

National Park Service Releases Official Photos Of Trump And Obama's Inaugural Crowds

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/national-park-service-relieases.html

"There Are Two Ways Of Lying..." Denis De Rougemont And Donald Trump

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2015/12/donald-trump-and-denise-de-rougemont.html

Behind The Mask, The GOP's True Face: Ayn Rand's Ideological Acolyte Paul Ryan Promotes Her Central Belief That Altruism Is Evil

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/ayn-rands-ideological-acolyte-paul-ryan.html

Why Americans Have A Moral Obligation NOT To Respect Donald Trump

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/why-americans-have-moral-obligation-not.html

American Conservatives And Aggressive Ignorance

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2015/08/american-conservatives-and-aggressive.html

Too Ignorant To Keep Democracy Alive

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/03/too-ignorant-to-keep-democracy-alive.html

"Are Republicans Insane?" Best Pax Posts

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2014/12/are-republicans-insane-best-pax-posts.html

"President Trump's Lies, The Definitive List"

New York Times

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/06/president-trumps-lies-definitive-list.html

"President Trump's Lies, The Definitive List"

New York Times

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/06/president-trumps-lies-definitive-list.html

The Toronto Star's Complete Tally Of Trump's 337 Lies Since Inauguration (June 26, 2017)

http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2017/06/june-26-2017-toronto-stars-completre.html

Pax on both houses: Donald Trump: Truth Doesn't Matter

Pax on both houses: Why The Media HAS To Lie About Trump

Pax on both houses: Aquinas, Trump, Truth... And "Alternative Truth"

Pax on both houses: Donald's Demonic Deviousness: How Trump ...