Were You Raised By A "Strict Father?"
Or A "Nurturant Parent?"
Or A "Nurturant Parent?"
Cal Berkeley professor George Lakoff is the first (and most insightful) analyst of humankind's two basic psychologies symbolized by the images of "Strict Father" and "Nurturant Parent."
Here is Lakoff's explanation of "Strict Father" psychology and how "Strict Father" values determine the structure of "the conservative psyche."
Quote:
"We tend to understand the nation metaphorically in family terms: We have founding fathers. We send our sons and daughters to war. We have homeland security. The conservative and progressive worldviews dividing our country can most readily be understood in terms of moral worldviews that are encapsulated in two very different common forms of family life: The "nurturant parent" family (progressive) and the "strict father" family (conservative).
What do social issues and politics have to do with the family?
In the strict father family, "father knows best." He knows right from wrong and has the ultimate authority to make sure his children and his spouse do what he says, which is taken to be what is right.
Many conservative spouses accept this worldview, uphold the father’s authority, and are strict in those realms of family life that they are in charge of. When his children disobey, it is his moral duty to punish them painfully enough so that, to avoid punishment, they will obey him (do what is right) and not just do what feels good.
Through physical discipline they are supposed to become disciplined, internally strong, and able to prosper in the external world.
What if they don’t prosper? That means they are not disciplined, and therefore cannot be moral, and so deserve their poverty.
This reasoning shows up in conservative politics in which the poor are seen as lazy and undeserving, and the rich as deserving their wealth.
(In "Strict Father" psychology), responsibility is taken to be personal responsibility, not social responsibility. What you become is only up to you; society has nothing to do with it. You are responsible for yourself, not for others — who are responsible for themselves." https://georgelakoff.com/2016/03/02/why-trump/
Roger Ebert summarized the hermetically-sealed quandary of conservative thinking: "The problem with being sure that God is on your side is that you can't change your mind, because God sure isn't going to change His."
Roger Ebert summarized the hermetically-sealed quandary of conservative thinking: "The problem with being sure that God is on your side is that you can't change your mind, because God sure isn't going to change His."
Here are Wikipedia's entries for these two basic psychological orientations.
Strict Father Model: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strict_father_model
Nurturant Parent Model: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nurturant_parent_model
"Strict Father upbringing" creates a frame of mind that values "absolute rightness" over all else. In the conservative view, the mere fact of "being right" guarantees, deus ex machina, that all subsequent outcomes are good ones.
Recently, friend John N dialogued with Tom L on his Facebook page. In that exchange, John, a child psychologist, made clear that the Trump administation is abusing children by separating them from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border. John also pointed out that the inevitable damage done to these kids will often result in lasting devastation. http://www.pbs.org/childofcamp/history/health.html
In the balance between "rigid, punitive righteousness" and "mercy-compassion-love," people whose psyches are ruled by "Strict Father values" fear the loss of their identity (often co-terminous with loss of religion) if wrong-doers are not painfully punished.
"Strict Father" psychology holds that anyone who fails to respect The Law (in all its minute manifestations) deserves to be damaged -- indeed, should be damaged just as God, in "His" justice, damages wrong-doers by roasting them in The Lake Of Unquenchable Fire.
Ever since I was a '60s student at the University of Toronto, I have studied comparative religion.
As I mature, it becomes ever clearer that conservative Christians are more "at home" in The Old Testament -- with its core moral principle of "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" -- than they are "at home" with the moral code of The New Testament whose central teaching is love, forgiveness and "doing good, even to those who persecute us."
Consider The Gospel Of Matthew's view of love: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A38-48&version=NIV
The Gospel Of Luke weighs in with another view of Love's centrality: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+6%3A+24-38&version=MSG I have used a recent translation of Luke called "The Message." Translator Eugene H. Peterson made it his goal to be "true to the spirit" of the original Greek text in order to avoid the pitfall of being lulled into "sleepy misunderstanding" by words we've heard a thousand times in the grandiloquent King James Version.
Clearly, we are free to choose our course in life.
In making that choice however, it is both good and wise to know where our moral principles come from.
George Lakoff
Wikiquote
George Lakoff
Wikipedia
George Lakoff: How Trump Uses Your Brain Against You And Why His Policy Details Don't Matter
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2016/08/george-lakoff-how-trump-uses-your-brain_26.html
Lakoff is also well known for his investigation of "language control" and how "the terms of debate" -- and controlling those "terms" -- determine the "winning view" in most political arguments. Here is an informative interview about "language control":
John Oliver does a fine job "teasing out" the mechanisms of linguistic control in his 18 minute comedic shtick, "S**ttiest Conspiracy Theory Ever."
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-oliver-sean-hannity_us_5b1e1d6fe4b0bbb7a0dee27d
Addendum:
Alan: There are two kinds of Christian; those whose chief aspiration is to help everyone into heaven, and others whose happiness depends on drawing indelible lines between "the saved" and "the damned."
If the "pearly gate" litmus-of-salvation is a person's treatment of the Nazarene, the following passage should be cautionary for anyone usurping God's role as judge. Oddly, it is not.
Instead, biblical "literalists" -- and other Christian conservatives -- ignore the exhortation, particularly verse 45.
"Christian Conservatism: "The Saved," "The Damned," "The Rich," "The Poor"
Matthew 25:31-45
The Sheep and the Goats
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ 41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ 44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ 45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
Matthew's Expression Of The Central Christian Message:
Matthew 5
Eye for Eye
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[h]39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Luke's Expression Of The Central Christian Message:
Luke 6:24-38 The Message
Give Away Your Life
24 But it’s trouble ahead if you think you have it made.
What you have is all you’ll ever get.
What you have is all you’ll ever get.
25 And it’s trouble ahead if you’re satisfied with yourself.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it’s trouble ahead if you think life’s all fun and games.
There’s suffering to be met, and you’re going to meet it.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it’s trouble ahead if you think life’s all fun and games.
There’s suffering to be met, and you’re going to meet it.
26 “There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular.
27-30 “To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.
31-34 “Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.
35-36 “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.
37-38 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”
The long version of this essay is accessible at
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