Pax on both houses: Jon Stewart And Jessica Williams Deconstruct Michael Dunn Verdict

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Jon Stewart And Jessica Williams Deconstruct Michael Dunn Verdict

Last night, Jon Stewart discussed the Michael Dunn murder case with Jessica Williamsabout how Stand Your Ground really applies to black youth in Florida.

JON STEWART: Wait, the car was fleeing and he still shot at it? How was Dunn standing his ground? It sounds like he was actually gaining ground. And he definitely killed someone. But apparently, that's not what he's going to jail for.
LISA BLOOM (2/17/2014): Michael Dunn was found guilty. That's three counts of attempted murder. That's for shooting at the other three young men in the car, the ones who survived.
JON STEWART: So the message in Florida's pretty clear. If you fire a gun, you better fucking hit somebody. Because if there's one thing Floridians won't tolerate, it's survivors. For more, we're joined by Jessica Williams. Jessica, thank you so much for being here. This hung jury on the murder charge, Michael Dunn trial, it's gotta be hard to take.
JESSICA WILLIAMS: Yeah, Jon, the Dunn verdict is really the cherry on top of the shit sundae that is Black History Month. First, we got assigned February, the month nobody wants, the only month that contains the letters F and U. And then, in case we didn't get the message, they round out the month by letting another white guy off for gunning down a black kid. You do know Black History Month's not like deer season or turkey season, right? It's not the month when you're allowed to shoot black people.

JON STEWART: Well that's, OK, that's true. Why do you think the jury believed Dunn's self-defense claim? I mean, the kids were unarmed.

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Sure, I mean, they looked unarmed to us, and to the police, and to the other eyewitnesses, but that's because we're not wearing fear goggles.

JON STEWART: Fear goggles?

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Yeah, that's the lens through which chronically terrified white people look at black kids. Like, say, a guy who carries a gun in his glove compartment and thinks Florida juries favor black people. Fear goggles turn something like this

into this.

(audience laughter and applause)

JON STEWART: Right.

JESSICA WILLIAMS: And once you put on fear goggles, you'll hit anything with a bullet. Anything.

JON STEWART: What can young black people do, then, in the face of this automatic fear?

JESSICA WILLIAMS: I'm glad you asked.

JON STEWART: Thank you.

JESSICA WILLIAMS: I've come up with a new curriculum for Black History Month. Forget all that George Washington Carver peanut crap. Black kids need life lessons they can actually use.

JON STEWART: Like what? What would you do?

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Number one: kids, stay in school.

JON STEWART: Well that's good. That's good advice for anybody.

JESSICA WILLIAMS: By which I mean, if you're at school, stay in the building. If you're at home, stay at home. Don't go wandering into the street where you might scare a white person. (audience laughter) And look, whatever you need, order it in. SeamlessWeb, Amazon Prime, Zappos. Those are your friends now. Which brings us to lesson two: don't hang out with your friends anymore.

JON STEWART: But... so stay inside, don't hang out... isn't there safety in numbers, though, to some extent?

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Not for black teenagers. The only thing scarier than one black kid is a whole pack of them. (audience laughter) Jon, four black guys could be taking a calculus test together, and to jumpy white folks, it would still look like a scene from The Wire. (audience laughter) Now, lesson three: turn the music off.

JON STEWART: What if it's not rap? Can't they listen to classical in the car?

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Oh, what, like Yo-Yo Ma? Cuz that name sounds pretty ghetto to me, Jon. (audience laughter)

JON STEWART: Jessica, what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if those black kids said they felt threatened because Dunn actually had a gun, and he came after them? Couldn't they have shot Dunn and claimed Stand Your Ground?

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Oh no no no no no no no. Have you seen the statistics? That works for black people about 1% of the time. See, Jon, the Stand Your Ground defense is like bleach. It works miracles for whites, but it will ruin your colors. (drops the mic to massive audience cheering and applause)

JON STEWART: Jessica Williams, ladies and gentlemen! We'll be right back.