Lawmakers complaining about a bipartisan proposal that would give the U.S. its first budget agreement in more than four years have forgotten what it means to compromise, Daily Show host Jon Stewart argued on Wednesday.
“It’s a compromise,” Stewart insisted. “There’s no victory, there’s no sense of glory. It’s more like being in a bar at last call: the lights come on and you look at each other and go, ‘Well, if either of us could do any better we wouldn’t be here. So let’s go f*ck behind a Sonic.”
Stewart described the deal as a welcome respite from the usual “congressional f*ckery” he covers. So even if the proposal evokes a melancholy, Leonard Cohen-like “Hallelujah,” Stewart said, it is still a good thing, despite Republicans and Democrats being unable in recent years to use what CNN reporter Dana Bash called the “c-word.”
“Yes, I can’t believe those c*nt-punters c-worded,” Stewart said, before sheepishly admitting, “I hope my mother isn’t watching.”
As a bonus, he argued, Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), who led negotiations on behalf of their respective parties, provided a visual representation of their inability to see eye-to-eye.
“They are a life-size bar graph of the fiscal distance between the parties,” Stewart marveled. “And quite frankly, if I may be so bold, the two of them look like all my prom pictures in reverse.”
However, correspondent Jon Oliver took exception to Stewart’s measured tone in calling the agreement “nice.”
“Nice?” Oliver asked in a huff. “Gelato is nice. Tom Hanks is nice. Tom Hanks gelato is disgusting, but that’s not the point. This deal, Jon, is everything we’ve been waiting for.”
Watch Stewart’s take on the agreement, as posted online on Wednesday, below.
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