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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Shocking Development: Republicans Shut Down Prefrontal Cortex (Borowitz Report)

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WASHINGTON — In an escalation of the stalemate gripping Washington, House Republicans voted today to shut down the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls reasoning and impulses.
The resolution, which passed with heavy Tea Party support, calls for a partial shutdown of the brain, leaving the medulla and cerebellum, sometimes referred to as the “reptilian brain,” up and running.
The Tea Party caucus cheered the passage of the bill, which was sponsored by Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who called the measure “long overdue.”
House Speaker John Boehner (R., Ohio) offered no timetable for restarting the prefrontal cortex, telling reporters, “It will most certainly remain shut down during any negotiations with the President. That’s the only leverage we have.”
Representative Bachmann agreed: “The President can go ahead and put a gun to our heads. There’s nothing there.”
While the G.O.P.’s decision to shut down the prefrontal cortex rattled Wall Street, neuroscientist Davis Logsdon said it should be seen as little more than a symbolic vote, noting, “It’s actually been shut down since the 2008 election.”

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Republican presidential candidate, Pat Buchanan, the living American who has served longest as a White House senior staff adviser, observed: “The Republican philosophy might be summarized thus: To hell with principle; what matters is power, and that we have it, and that they do not.” 
“Where the Right Went Wrong" 

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"The Reign of Morons Is Here," Charles P. Pierce, The Atlantic

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"A Southerner Explains Tea Party Radicalism: The Civil War Is Not Over"


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Diane Rehm's Brilliant Panel Discussion: "Possible Repercussions Of A U.S. Debt Default At Home And Abroad"

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"The Great Recession Vaporized 40% Of Americas's Net Worth. The Tea Party Intends Worse."

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"The Shutdown Is A Republican Civil War" by Ezra Klein


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Republican Rule And Economic Catastrophe: A Lockstep Relationship"

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"Politics and Economics: The 101 Courses You Wish You Had"

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"Republicans for Revolution," A Study In Anarchic Apocalypticism

"Sarah Palin As The Mad Hatter" (Image)

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