Limbaugh Caller Describes Rush Exchanging "Shoe Boxes of Cash for Narcotics"

Today Kossack Mike Stark called the Rush Limbaugh Show and slipped behind enemy linesunder the pretense of kissing the right wing talk show host's ass, but ended up dragging some very funky skeletons out of his closet instead.

Caller:  You're a little self deprecating.  There's no doubt you should get a Presidential Medal of Freedom.  First of all, back in the 90s you were invited to honorary chair or gavel or something like that of the House of Representatives.

Rush:  That's right, I was named an honorary member of the freshman class of 1994.

Caller:  And then just recently you had a statue of yourself dedicated at the Missouri House of legislature, whatever it is there.

Rush:  That's a bust of me in the Hall of Famous Missourians at the State House in Jefferson City, Missouri.  Which, by the way, the left is still trying to get removed.

Caller:  Well, what I'm thinking is, that, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, came after you exchanged shoe boxes of cash for narcotics in Florida--something that most people go to jail for decades for mandatory minimums.  They gave you a statue.  I mean, you imported drugs into America with the Viagra deal down in Florida.  And they still gave you a statue.

Rush:  No sir, you are a victim of once again totally distorted media reporting.  The first half of your call is exactly right.  But the last half of your call is just filled with the usual leftist bigotry, hatred, and gibberish, and you haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about.

The "shoeboxes of cash" was no doubt a reference to Limbaugh's massive addiction to OxyContin and his arrest for illegally visiting multiple doctors in order to fraudently obtain prescriptions to feed his habit.  Limbaugh, of course, did not provide much information to the public about his drug habit, but his housekeeper was quite forthcoming  about the details:

Limbaugh's former housekeeper claims she helped him buy thousands of dollars of prescription pain killers over a four-year period, including the highly-addictive Oxycontin, a potent painkiller known as "hillbilly heroin" because of its black-market popularity in some rural areas.

By his former housekeeper's account, Limbaugh took up to 30 Oxycontin pills a day.

Following a lengthy investigation, Limbaugh was arrested in April, 2006 for illegally obtaining massive quantities of painkillers.  

Just two months after his arrest, Limbaugh was detained for another drug offense upon returning from a vacation in Domincan Republic.  This time Limbaugh had a bottle of Viagra which was not prescribed to him.  No charges were filed, and Limbaugh later joked about the incident on his radio show:

"I had a great time in the Dominican Republic. Wish I could tell you about it."

Limbaugh was between marriages 3 and 4 at the time of his detention with the erectile dysfunction medication in his possession after what must have been an exhausting vacation.  Incidentally, impotence is a common side effect of opiate abuse.

Limbaugh avoided jail time and any real consequences—apart from public embarrassment--for his drug follies.  This failure to be held accountable for breaking the law is something that Limbaugh’s fellow conservative Rush Limbaugh spoke out about on his mercifully brief television show in 1995 in an epic demonstration of hypocritical foresight:

"Drug use, some might say, is destroying this country. And we have laws against selling drugs, pushing drugs, using drugs, importing drugs. ... And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up."