WASHINGTON — Rep. Paul Ryan
(R-Wisconsin) was jubilant today after his newly unveiled budget plan picked up
a key endorsement from the novelist Ayn Rand.
It was a rare
public utterance for the late Ms. Rand, who has been damned to eternal torment
in Satan’s lake of fire since 1982.
“This is a budget
I wish I had written,” said Ms. Rand, pausing to scream as white-hot flames
licked her face. “Paul Ryan is a great man and I look forward to meeting him
someday.”
Rep. Ryan acknowledged Ms. Rand’s praise
with humility, telling reporters, “There’s no trick to cutting $4.6 trillion
once you take a hard look at failed ideas of the past, such as the social
contract.”
Mr. Ryan added, “Unlike the Democrats’
plan, my budget has new ideas, like cutting two of the four food groups and
classifying large sodas as medicine.”
Ms. Rand’s thumbs-up capped a victory lap
of sorts for Mr. Ryan, who earlier in the day garnered an endorsement from
Marie Antoinette.
Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/03/ryan-budget-plan-gets-endorsement-from-ayn-rand.html#ixzz2NMQadPJD
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