Pages

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Borowitz Report: Choking back tears, Wayne LaPierre marries his AK-47


WASHINGTON — In what he called “the happiest day of my life,” National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre marked Valentine’s Day by marrying his longtime gun, an AK-47 assault rifle
.
Mr. LaPierre grew emotional as he reminisced about meeting the firearm at a gun show in Alabama in 1991.

“The chemistry between us was amazing,” he said. “Our first weekend together, all we did was shoot.”

Marriage between a human and a gun is not legal in most states, a situation that Mr. LaPierre bemoans: “For a lot of N.R.A. members it’s the only intimate relationship they’re capable of.”

The wedding ceremony was attended by twenty-five of Mr. LaPierre’s guns and over two hundred members of Congress.

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/nra-leader-marries-gun.html#ixzz2Kv3dEyIn



No comments:

Post a Comment