Advice To Anti-Gay Couple From The Original "Dear Abby"

I'm sorry, but I have to share today's Dear Abby column, which features yet another takedown of anti-gay bigotry. You might remember the classic response to a homophobic writer from Pauline Phillips, the original "Abby," more than thirty years ago:

Well, today, Pauline's daughter Jeanne (pictured above instead of her mother, for some reason), who has been writing the column since 2002, deals with a very similar letter. Get a load of this steaming pile of hate from "Unhappy in Tampa":

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors' social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay -- one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!

Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were "different," they apparently kept it to themselves. I don't feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? -- Unhappy in Tampa

So let me get this straight. You move into a new community filled with people you don't know. You enter a social circle that also happens to contain two same-sex couples. You don't stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the other people in the circle actually like these gay couples. Since, you know, they're in the same social circle and all. So you, the newcomer decide to stage an anti-gay coup to purge the couples you don't like out of the group. Seriously, what kind of arrogance is that? And then you have the audacity to complain when you are recognized as the bigots you are and promptly ostracized from the group?

Um, that's what I call sweet justice.

"Abby" says it better, and sweeter, than I could:

DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I'd like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person's sexual orientation isn't a "lifestyle choice." Gay people can't change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.

From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don't blow it.

Welcome to 2014, "Unhappy in Tampa." Now grow up.

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that I used an abbreviated version of Abby's response. Here is the longer version, which is even better. H/T to gustypip and texasmom.

Dear Unhappy: I sure would.

The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.”

Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way.

They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.

I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.

From where I sit, you might have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do.

But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here.

Please don’t blow it.