WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans on Wednesday demanded that Donald J. Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael D. Cohen, issue them checks in the amount of $130,000 for not having sex with Trump.
After Cohen revealed that he had issued such a check to Stormy Daniels, a porn star who he claims never had intimate relations with his client, there was widespread outrage among other Americans who had also not had sex with Trump but had not been paid for not doing so.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for Stormy Daniels,” Tracy Klugian, a florist in Santa Rosa, California, said. “I just want my check, too.”
Harland Dorrinson, a bank teller in Akron, Ohio, said that he had already e-mailed Cohen to demand payment. “I have never come close to having sex with Trump, and that should be worth something,” he said. “Specifically, $130,000.”
But, even as millions of Americans clamored to be compensated for abstaining from sex with Cohen’s client, others, like Carol Foyler, of Tallahassee, Florida, took a different view. “Never having sex with Donald Trump should be a reward in itself,” she said.
"My Gripe With Christianity"
The Christian Doctrine Of Damnation... And The Destruction Of Christ-Spirit
The Christian Doctrine Of Damnation... And The Destruction Of Christ-Spirit
Compendium Of Best Pax Posts On Organized Religion And The Everyday Validation Of Violence
The Obsolescence Of God:
Good Religion And Bad
"Has America Lost Its Mind?" 1A's Brilliant Interview With "Fantasyland's" Kurt Andersen
Televangelist Jim Bakker Resurrected: If This Doesn't Scare The Bejesus Out Of You, Repent For Your End Is Near!
Many Christians Live In An Unbreakable Bubble Of Biblical And Theological Dunderheadedness
James' Epistle: "Judgment Without Mercy Will Be Shown To Anyone Who Has Not Shown Mercy"
It Is Important To Know These Things So Religion Doesn't Do You More Harm Than Good
What Too Many Christians Get Wrong
Jesus: Festive Tippler And Friend Of Whores, Publicans, Tax Collectors And Sundry Sinners
Christians Are Their Own Worst Enemy: Wrecking The Brand
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2015/04/this-modern-world-cartoon-christians.htmlCompendium Of Christianity Posts
http://paxonbothhouses.
"Trump Gets Into Holiday Spirit by Settling Scores On Twitter," The Daily Beast
https://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2018/12/trump-gets-into-holiday-spirit-by.html
Ted Nugent was Trump's special guest at his last campaign rally in 2016.
Since election Nugent has been Trump's White House dinner guest.
What happened to the old chestnut, "We are known by the company we keep?"
Since election Nugent has been Trump's White House dinner guest.
What happened to the old chestnut, "We are known by the company we keep?"
St. Paul The Apostle Comments On Trump's Greed
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2018/07/st-paul-apostle-comments-on-trumps-greed.html
The Last Time Christians Had Balls They Believed In Martyrdom
http://paxonbothhouses.blogspot.com/2018/07/st-paul-apostle-comments-on-trumps-greed.html
Christians Ignore Jesus' Direct "Commandments" But Are Punctilious About Things He Never Said
American Divorce: Mainstream Christians Divorce More Often Than Mainstream Atheists"
http://paxonbothhouses.
The Last Time Christians Had Balls They Believed In Martyrdom
http://paxonbothhouses.
The Civil War: White Christians Slaughtering One Another On A Scale ISIS Can Only Dream Of
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