Gov. Rick Scott's Campaign Reveals GOP's Ignorance Of Ongoing Suicide

Now here's a sentence a candidate and/or current governor and/or conspicuously creepy mechanical lizard puppet never wants to hear.

On late Thursday, billionaire Mike Fernandez abruptly resigned his post as the finance co-chair of Governor Rick Scott’s (R-FL) reelection campaign.

Do you know how hard a campaign has to work these days to court billionaires? And now you've lost him, Scott. Hope it was worth it.

Tensions between Scott’s campaign staff and Fernandez had been building for weeks. And the last straw, according to people within the campaign who spoke with the Miami Herald this weekend, was an incident in which several of Scott’s campaign staffers allegedly began joking around in a cartoonish, over-the-top Mexican accent while on the way to a Mexican restaurant.

Fernandez, who is Cuban, reportedly shot off an angry email to campaign leadership after word of the incident leaked out.

So it's a case where the Republican efforts to be nice to billionaires ran into conflict with the Republican base instinct to insult minorities. And what we've learned here, kids, is that racism wins over having One Billion Goddamn Dollars any day of the week.

Yes, this is probably some marginal blow to Rick Scott's re-election campaign—probably no more damaging than being Rick Scott, mind you, but a blow. But spare a thought for the billionaire, here. You're richer than snot. You're richer than snot from being in the same industry that made Rick Scott richer than snot. People genuflect to you wherever you go. As a charitable act (perhaps having something to do with wanting another goddamn tax break, perhaps not) you try to use your vast riches for the good of the Republican Party and your richer than snot buddy—only to find you can't even go to a damn Mexican restaurant without all the other people you're working with devolving into racist insults because hey, Florida Republicans.

It'd be enough to drive someone away from the Republican Party entirely, if it weren't for reallywanting those tax breaks.

11:12 AM PT: A bit of a sore subject, apparently.

A telephone press conference featuring Lt. Governor Carlos Lopez-Cantera was abruptly ended Monday morning after reporters kept asking about the departure of Mike Fernandez from the Gov. Rick Scott re-election campaign, rather than about the new TV commercial the campaign was launching.