After Stephen Douglas called him two-faced, Abraham Lincoln asked...
Miriam Hopkins to an anonymous singer:
Groucho Marx to a "You Bet Your Life" contestant who said he had 10 children
Reporter: "What do you think of Western civilization?"
Gandhi: "I think it would be a good idea."
Gandhi argued that complete realisation of God was impossible in this embodied life. "The writer wants to know why, if God is a God of mercy and justice, He allows all the miseries and sorrows we see around us. I can give no satisfactory explanation. He imputes to me a sense of defeat and humiliation. I have no such sense of defeat, humiliation or despair. My retirement, such as it is, has nothing to do with any defeat. It is no more and no less than a course of self-purification and self-preparation. I state this to show that things are often not what they seem. It may be that what we mistake as sorrows, injustices and the like are not such in truth. If we could solve all the mysteries of the universe, we would be co-equals with God. Every drop of the ocean shares its glory but is not the ocean. Realizing our littleness during this tiny span of life, we close every morning prayer with the recitation of a verse which means: ‘Misery so-called is no misery nor riches so-called riches. Forgetting (or denying) God is the true misery, remembering (or faith in God) is true riches.’
Thanks for the great quips!
Do you know the following Churchill story?
Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party when he bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist Member of Parliament.
“Mr. Churchill, you are drunk,” Braddock said harshly.
Churchill paused and said, “And Bessie, you are ugly. And you will be ugly for the rest of your life. But I... I shall be sober in the morning.”
* * *
John Wilkes, an eighteenth-century political reformer, was involved in a particularly angry exchange with John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich. “Sir,” Montagu exclaimed, “I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!”
To which Wilkes responded, “That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship’s principles or your Lordship’s mistress.”
The following quips are from a website with a number of good links -