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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Two Letters To A Friend Freaked Out By Tinnitus: Sharing My Experience

Image result for tinnitus
November 9, 2016

Dear D,

I am so sorry to hear of the hard time you're having with tinnitus.

I too have tinnitus, a condition that presented more than 20 years ago. (In hindsight, I wonder if I had tinnutus since my early days as a rock-n-roll aficionado but just didn't "notice" it. More on this later...)

When first diagnosed, I was tormented by the condition, and for several months was totally freaked out, thinking I would go crazy from the non-stop "sounds in my head."

Then, an odd thing happened.

One day, while reading a magazine in the Orange High School Teachers Lounge, I suddenly realized my tinnitus was gone!?!

But then, when I "went into my head" I quickly "located" it.

Notably, this episode also made me realize that -- to a significant extent -- I had become "frozen" in the habit of focusing "the sound in my head" by deliberately delving into it, by giving it my "energy-of-attention."

For example, right now -- as I compose this email about tinnitus -- I am "bringing tinnitus to mind" and, as a result, am immediately hear it and am annoyingly aware that I "have it."

However, I doubt that I have been aware of my tinnitus more than 1% of the time over the course of this morning and afternoon.

The fact that I am blissfully unaware of "the sound in my head" has become so routine that it is now my norm.

When I first realized that my tinnitus had "disappeared" I took heart in the fact that "losing track of it" (by not focusing it) was a "skill" "I" possessed.

"Getting lost" in other occupations and interests -- particularly those we love -- seems to be the best way to become "blissfully forgetful" since these "beloved activities" draw all my attention into what's going on "outside" my head so there is no energy left to pay attention to the tinnitus "inside" my head.

You can learn more about this psychological mechanism by boning up on "Flow Pyschology," a psychological "system" that originally made good sense long before I "applied" my understanding of Flow Psychology to tinnitus.

Here is Wikipedia's article on Flow Psychologyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

And here is Flow Psychology founder Mihály Csíkszentmihályi giving a TED Talk about "Flow."

Flow (and the "forgetfulness" that accompanies it) is not a "skill" that can be deliberately developed except to the extent that we increase the amount-of-time we spend "in flow" by participating more frequently in those activities we most love. In turn, this practice of "doing what we love" accustoms the unconscious mind to "generalized forgetfulness."

When you ponder these things, you might think it's nonsense.

But "the proof is in the pudding" and this "mechanism" actually worked for me.

I occasionally have episodes of noticeable tinnitus lasting 20 - 30 minutes, and when I have them, they are profoundly aggravating.

But I have also grown trustful that my mind will spontaneously revert to "blissful ignorance" and now just "knowing" I have this mental ability leaves me with the everyday assumption that these half-hour long episodes of obsessing on my tinnitus are transient and will soon pass.

This confidence that they will pass --- a confidence arising from long experience --- "works!"

Wishing you well,

Alan

PS Here is the first page of google hits corresponding to my inquiry: "Pete Townsend's Tinnitus"

H.E.A.R. | Articles | Hearing Education and Awareness for Rockers

Pete Townshend - "I have severe hearing damage. It's manifested itself as tinnitus, ringing in the ears at frequencies that I play guitar. It hurts, it's painful, and it's ...

Pete Townshend's struggles with hearing loss: A musician's risk

https://accuquest.com/...tinnitus/pete-townshends-struggles-with-hearing-loss-a-musici...

Oct 1, 2014 - Rock icon Pete Townshend has publicly expressed his concerns on the ... If you are experiencing any symptoms of hearing loss or tinnitus (a ...

Hazards for old rockers: From Pete Townshend's tinnitus to Dave ...

www.independent.co.uk › Culture › Music › Features

Mar 8, 2016 - AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson has been told to stop touring or face total deafness. Adam Sherwin examines the dangers faced by music's ...

The Who's Pete Townshend Lost Most Of His Hearing After This ...

www.feelnumb.com/.../the-whos-pete-townshend-lost-most-of-his-hearing-after-this-e...

Sep 29, 2009 - The Who Smothers Brothers Explosion Pete Townshend Hearing ... It's manifested itself as tinnitus, ringing in the ears at frequencies that I play ...

Pete Townshend: an old rocker on rip-roaring form - Telegraph

www.telegraph.co.uk › Culture › Glastonbury

Jun 28, 2015 - As The Who close Glastonbury tonight, Pete Townshend talks to Neil ... and Townshend has reportedly found ways to manage his tinnitus.

Pete Townshend - Wikipedia

Peter Dennis Blandford "PeteTownshend (born 19 May 1945) is an English musician, singer, ...... Townshend suffers from partial deafness and tinnitus believed to be the result of noise-induced hearing loss from his extensive exposure to loud ...

Pete Townshend speaks about his tinnitus... - Tinnitus Remedies ...

https://www.facebook.com/tinnitusremediestreatment/videos/230146430460213/

Pete Townshend speaks about his tinnitus condition and his exposure to loud music.

Pete Townshend on Letterman discusses Tinnitus | DailyStrength

https://www.dailystrength.org/.../tinnitus/.../pete-townshend-on-letterman-discusses-tin...

Dec 7, 2012 - This is an interesting YouTube video of an interview that Pete Townshend (guitarist for "The Who") did with Dave Letterman a short while ago.

Pete Townshend Talks Natural Remedies For Tinnitus – Tinnitus ...

www.hilarymartinhiman.com/pete-townshend-talks-natural-remedies-for-tinnitus/

The Who's Pete Townshend has opened up about his ongoing battle with the hearing ailment Tinnitus. During an interview with David Letterman, the rocker says ...

The Who's future in doubt as Pete Townshend's tinnitus returns | Music ...

https://www.theguardian.com › Arts › Music › The Who

Feb 22, 2010 - The Who's medley at Superbowl XLIV may have been their last-ever performance. WithPete Townshend suffering from a recurrence of tinnitus, ...

December 10, 2016

Dear D,

Thanks for your email.

I've been "up" for nearly 3 hours and just now -- when I saw your lovely Christmas card on my mantle -- did I become aware of my tinnitus for the very first time today.

Now that I've "brought it to mind," I hear the high-pitched "ringing" -- and the "demons" whispering -- "Maybe this time it will never go away again."

However, I am fundamentally confident that "it will always go away" in the sense that my "involvement in life"will distract me from it so that, almost always, I am blessedly oblivious.

Here is the quirky thing about tinnitus: "It really is all in your head."

But like everything else in our heads, tinnitus has a qualified existence whose appearance, disappearance and intensity depend on how much energy we invest in the "audio loops" we play for ourselves -- whether these loops are comprised of "ideas" or "emotions" or "the ringing of tinnitus."

Yes, all these "sounds" are real but they are also really ignorable, or perhaps I should say they can be set aside whenever our mental focus -- mostly as a result of the brain's learning to "let go" by becoming preemptively involved in something else (even other thoughts) -- lets them go.

It's like the old quip: "If you wish to become enlightened, there is only one thing you need to do: NEVER think of monkeys." 

Needless to say, any spiritual aspirant who hears this advice is immediately obsessed by monkies.

I think my experience of tinnitus has been typical in that there is a fairly long period in which "the newly afflicted individual" is obsessively haunted by "the sound in his head." 

But there comes a time -- for me about 3 months after onset -- when I became so spontaneously lost in "what I was doing-or-thinking" that I completely forgot about my tinnitus.

So....

Given that tinnitus is "really" in your head but that -- in a good sense -- you can "really" "go out of your mind," it is mostly important to let your mind "know" that you trust it to get to the point where -- almost all of the time -- you will be unaware of the ringing.

Since starting to write this letter, I have been continually aware of "the ringing" in my head. 

But I have bedrock faith that once this letter is done and my attention is no longer focused on my tinnitus, I will return to my usual state of being unaware that I have tinnitus, a blessed unawareness that occupies somewhere between 95% and 99% of my waking hours. (I don't know what proper statistical analysis would reveal but I think I'm only away of my tinnitus from 1% to 3% of my day.)

Even if your day starts with "just-out-of-bed" awareness that you've got an unwanted sound in your head, give your concern as little energy as possible, knowing that when you get into your daily activity routine, you will -- sooner or later -- become quite oblivious.

For now - and for some time to come - you might continue to be haunted by your tinnitus because the realization that you have an unwanted sound in your head is psychologically traumatizing and it "takes time" to get over the trauma. (When I look back on the origin of my tinnitus, I wonder if I only "discovered" it some while -- maybe years -- after onset.)

Overall, I think my experience is typical. And I suspect John can confirm that his experience of tinnitus is quite similar.

Here are some interesting descriptions of celebrities' experience with tinnitus posted on the Hearing Health Foundation website. Maybe this organization can recommend physicians who specialize (or sub-specialize) in working with rock-n-rollers who have the dis-ease. http://hearinghealthfoundation.org/artists_talk_tinnitus

A final note...

When you do put your plugs in to play harp as prelude to seeing whether your tinnitus is exacerbated or not, I think it would be good to keep in mind that your still-traumatized "state" may predispose you to "hearing" an "exacerbation" that may not "be" "there."

To me it seems that if you keep your audio input at (or below) the audio input of "everyday sounds," you cannot run risk of exacerbation. Of course, this is a question that also needs to be asked of a specialist but, for now, I want to "put it out there."

My gut feeling -- in addition to my thoughtful analysis -- both tell me that if you wear plugs (or sound-canceling earphones) to keep sonic input at everyday "background" decibelage, you will not induce any further injury.

Soon, I will pick Pete's brain.

Pax

Alan

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