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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Borowitz Report: "Millions Willing to Work For Mueller For Free If That Would Speed Things Up"

"America Will Get A Kick Out Of Just How Bogus This Guy Is. Prepare For Hilarity!" | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

Millions Willing to Work For Mueller For Free If That Would Speed Things Up

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans would gladly work for Robert Mueller for free if that would help speed things up, a new poll finds.

According to the survey, a substantial number of Americans would leave their jobs, their homes, and even their families to join the special counsel’s team if doing so would help bring this nightmare to a swifter conclusion.

A spokesperson for the special counsel confirmed that his office has been receiving thousands of résumés a day from Americans begging to do anything to help Mueller “move things along.”

“We saw a big surge in interest after the bust on Paul Manafort’s house,” the spokesperson said. “A lot of folks were devastated that they didn’t get to play a part in that.”

The spokesperson said that, although the special counsel “really appreciates” the public’s interest in helping out, limitations on office space prevent Mueller from accommodating all of those who desperately want to pitch in.

“We hate to disappoint people, but we’re overwhelmed,” the spokesperson said. “Right now, I have about five thousand résumés from people who just want to help investigate Jared.”

Image result for jared kushner, pax on both houses

Jared Kushner's Undisclosed $285 Million Loan With A Bank That Laundered Money For Russia


Alan: I always sleep better knowing that this 30 year old real estate mogul  has Top Secret security clearance.



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